im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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