i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
