It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
