just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
sex in a hospital.. check
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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