Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
