Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize