we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize