I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Drunk is a universal language darling
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