my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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