So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
