Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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