Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
