no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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