just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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