there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
