Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
