that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
