btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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