Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
