so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
