Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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