Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
