I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
