I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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