It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
50% drunk capacity currently
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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