When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
