I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
