i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
