So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
