just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
