shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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