god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
