I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Randomize