She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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