Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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