she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
