check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
