i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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