she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
