i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize