I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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