I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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