sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
