He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
