In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
