I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
