i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
