It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
