Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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