oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
