Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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