If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
