I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
