But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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