I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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