I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
