TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
