Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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