I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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