come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's the barista slut.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
