We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
