i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
did i just pee glitter
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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