Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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