Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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