i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
